rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
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Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize