idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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