She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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