i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize