...so i touched it.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize