You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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