WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
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It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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