Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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