She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize