I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize