the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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