My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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