Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
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He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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