dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize