i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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