I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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