Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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