Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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