i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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