I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize