Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
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He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
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someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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