hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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