Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize