Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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