He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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