I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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