i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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