You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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