i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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