You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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