Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize