the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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