If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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