ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize