is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
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My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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