I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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