I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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