she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize