Are we in a gay sports bar?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize