Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
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