what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize