if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
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There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
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Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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