From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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