I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
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I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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