nut hugger
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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