I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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