Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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