That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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