There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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