Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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