she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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